29 August 2012

We no longer walk…but they’re still beautiful

Almost two years ago Katie (my sister) and I started walking. We decided to go 430km as a means of raising some money for, and the awareness of, the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital in Ethiopia.
The work they do at the hospital is quite literally life-changing. They are saving girls from spending their lives in isolation…from being seen as a disgrace…and from being stuck in an incomprehensible life sentence.

If you don’t know what obstetric fistula is, here is a very quick description taken from our now non-existent website:
Obstetric fistula is the result of internal damage caused by a prolonged obstructed labour in childbirth, which can be five days or more. The baby will die and then the mother is faced with a life of permanent incontinence; continually leaking urine and sometimes bowel contents.
Like I said…incomprehensible.

We walked for 16 days (not non-stop) with our mum following in the car and providing sustenance and general helpful mum-stuff. We were given every night’s accommodation free, food vouchers, walking gear, petrol vouchers and on top of all of that, people gave over $33000. The whole thing went better than we had ever dreamed and we were both amazed and humbled by all that happened before, during and after this event.

As a tribute to this upcoming 2 year anniversary, I have put together a collation (which makes little-no sense whatsoever) of all 16 days worth of blogs…and with a total of 11886 words written all up, be glad that this is just a 1676 word snippet.
P.S. There is some fairly exciting news (for me) which is expressed at the bottom…but in order to get to this news you HAVE to read everything else…THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE, BUT IT’S JUST POLITE TO DO SO.

Day 1
Once at church, it felt quite celebrity like with cheers and clapping whilst we blocked our faces from the flashing cameras and outstretched arms of fans…
…The final song was ‘I Walk by Faith’ and then we headed out the door…
…As we continued on, Dad was following close behind…he was then lost…
…There were some awesome cows that met us on the way.

Day 2
I needed to go to the toilet but decided to hold on…but then I couldn’t any longer…so we crossed the road and just did it in the grass. Katie had the video camera out…
…We’ve done our hot and colds…
… after I screamed and she laughed…
Katie and I headed off (in the car) to a place called The Range where we played some baseball…Katie was good (like really cricket good) and I was bad (like bad).

Day 3
The morning involved Katie getting some scissors and cutting into my skin, trying to relieve some of the blister pain…
We then came across a sign that said it was going to be windy for the next 10km…so we decided to take a photo next to it to pretend we were excited about this…somehow Katie’s excited face turned into her looking high…
…when we did get to the bottom of that first hill we had one of our favourite times of the day – Lesley cookie eating time. These are, and I will quote myself on this, “the best cookies I have ever eaten”…
…It was then that a toilet stop was required…
… Katie: “oh – I don’t have the toilet paper”
Jo: “what?!”
Katie: “umm, it’s in the car”
Jo: “why?”
Katie: [giggling] “cause I took it out”
Jo: “cause it was heavy?!
Katie: “Haha”…
…I then decided that it would be a good idea to start singing ‘100 bottles of beer on the wall’. It seemed like a good idea until I got to the 98th bottle… so in order to get down to 0 I went in large increments, occasionally having 20 bottles of beer falling off the wall at once. For a reason unknown to me, Katie tried to put some bottles back on the wall…it didn’t work cause they were all broken.

Day 4
After hot and colds we went outside so that Katie could do a bit of cricket training…I smashed tennis balls at her with a tennis racket.

Day 5
Katie needed to take her Echinacea [which we say as U-CAN-A-SHA] (a natural remedy for colds) but when mum made that suggestion Katie thought she might instead have some euthanasia…
…we saw a very squashed possum…to which Katie noted, “wouldn’t it be gross if we got possum splattered all over us”. The answer to that is yes.

Day 6
Just a few hundred metres further on from this there was a large park and then, suddenly, this giant came running towards us whistling and yelling. At first we were confused, then slightly scared, and then when we realised it was Ollie Marino…
… Katie said, “I’m not voting for him, he looks like he’s about to die”…
… Katie is more a fan of preservatives.

Day 7
So we held on. Until the nearest bush…
It was at the exact moment that we arrived at the car Rachel and Helena managed to find their way to us without having to take a single step. Very clever…
…we just hung out, chatted and laughed at Katie’s awfully disgustingly dirty feet.

Day 8
7km into the walk 3 car loads pulled up next to us with a crew of walkers to join in…
Brothers Walk for Attractiveness handed Sisters Walk for Beautiful a cheque for $1300…
…we all chilled out on State Highway 1 for a bite to eat…
…Rachel, Nelly and Alex follow us back to our accommodation in the beautiful little town of Opua…
…While Katie and I endured hot and colds, they ate Lesley cookies and drank juice out of wine glasses to revive themselves…
…”it’s snowballed”…
…“no – skied”…
…Oh boy.

Day 9
Today is a joyful day…
we only had 9½km to do…
…Katie decided to start singing…so we sang loudly and waved our arms about…
…we made a wee stop (literally)…
…when I asked if I could throw the mouldy bread to the birds, mum questioned why I would want to throw away Maori bread.

Day 10
‘Happy Birthday’ to mum…
…‘May your day be filled with rainbows, fluffy kittens too, pretty flowers and chocolates, enough to distract someone as old as you’…
…we made a quick stop on a short bridge where Susie the eel lives.

Day 11
I got a call from Alison Pugh from Breakfast
…we either had to walk over this terrain for 13km or be crushed by a slip…
…There was also the option of being hit by a large truck on a small bend… 
…“why is there one truck going north and one going south, but they are both carrying logs?”. That is a good question…
…with the Mangamuka Summit presenting itself in all it’s glory…
…’What goes up must come down’…
…“this is the road that never ends, it goes on and on my friends, some people started walking it not knowing when it ends, and they’ll continue walking it forever just because…”.

Day 12
We made a stop...for one main reason which you are probably aware of…but also to strip off four of the five layers…
…Of course, once we got started walking again it poured down and we were back to square one…
…the little lamby baa’d and everything…
….I recommend being in hot water while the air around you is cold. It’s pretty much one of the best things out.

Day 13
The weather report for September 17th was not pretty…a storm was approaching and it was going to be big…
…for the second time on this trip, I stripped on State Highway 1…
…Would you rather be bald or have no eye brows? Jo – no eye brows. Katie – bald…
…Then we found some fossils…
…Something else that is quite concerning is Katie’s brain…
…“let’s console ourselves with a Lesley cookie”…
…Katie started losing her mind and she started talking as if she was a cow.

Day 14
We were very proud of ourselves until we looked at the photo and realised the sun had changed and that it now just looks like we are quite deeply in love with each other…
…Katie and I are in need of toilet stops throughout the day…
…The long bushy grass is the best option for visibility and comfort…
…mum joking about how painful it would be if we accidentally went toilet on the side of the road in gorse…
…At first I found it very amusing that we should have 120km/hr (75miles/hr) winds blowing at us…
…I soon did find that this was not as funny as first thought.

Day 15
We stopped…we stared…we screamed. I know it sounds insignificant and, quite frankly, stupid…but we saw a horse that we did not expect to be there…
…It was very amusing. And sad. But still amusing…
…Wana hear a joke?
KATIE: “Look! There’s an emu!...no wait…MOA!”
Dictionary.com definition of Moa: ‘…extinct since about the end of the 18th century’…
…It felt very ‘The Amazing Race’ like with Katie being all hard core and me being the slow one in which people yell at from their TV screens for letting the team down…
… Now picture with me, if you will, 60 metres of vertical sand below and a body board to aid you in your descent. In an ideal world, such as the one Katie lives in, you zoom down the hill at an extreme speed, make a thrilling entry onto the flat sand and then come to a brilliantly clean stop. In my world, the kind of world that has ones knee break while falling over relatively boringly while skiing, the path to the bottom is not so easy. I start a few seconds after Katie, I hear her excited scream, I let go of all inhibitions and I slide. I go very very fast and I smile and think I’m awesome. Then, suddenly, my view changes and I am now no longer in contact with my board or the sand…I am flying. The only thing which can follow is the landing...
Thankfully, it was my head that suffered the most so I’m all good to walk tomorrow…
…suddenly, the door to our room swung open and eight beautiful people stormed in…
if it had been just a few minutes either side of their raid any one of us would have been…nakies…
…then we parted ways as it was 9:15pm and that’s like crazy party late.

Day 16
The final day!...
…Rachel commented that she had already put her blisters on, and Ineke mentioned how she liked Robyn Palmer’s legs…
…we had two groups…the peloton…and Robyn…
...Ineke looked really really happy every time she drove past us…slowly…mocking us…
… And then we made it to Cape Reinga!...
…we were indeed finished and that is very much WAHOOO!!!...
…I then asked a couple of tourists if they wouldn’t mind taking a photo for us. They then made the mistake of asking, “Where have you walked from?”…
…The final Lesley cookie (of approximately 70) was broken and shared amongst friends…
…I’m thinking of walking to your house and calling it, ‘Jo Walks for Satisfying’…
…While I was eating my ice cream I decided it would be the perfect and most hygienic time to take off my blister pads…
…Katie’s goal: jab, stab and cut Jo’s blister until it pops and goo splurts out…
…She did this successfully and things such as, “it’s so juicy up there, you just see the water bubbles moving around” and “ew, Jo juice” were said…
The walk is now done. It feels a bit surreal…but it’s exciting to have made it and still be able to move. Thanks so much for your support…it’s been absolutely marvelous.
Bye


So there you go. 16 days of walking blogs all rolled into one. How enlightened you must feel.

Ok…so the exciting news I mentioned earlier…
On Thursday September 20, 2012 (which, by exceptionally brilliant chance, is exactly two years after the finish of the walk) I am taking the day off work…
On this day I plan on sleeping in slightly…
Maybe watching a bit of Paul Henry while eating breakfast…
I may then start getting showered and dressed…
Then I’ll walk to the train and head into town…
Once there I will make my way to Federation Square for a spot of lunch…
AND…
I…
WILL…
BE…
HEARING, SEEING AND HOPEFULLY MEETING DR CATHERINE HAMLIN HERSELF!

Yes indeedy…this amazing 86 year old lady who is still working almost every day of the week, is heading over to these here fine Australian shores and will be speaking at a few events. I’m all booked in. I’m all excited. And I’m all a bit nervous about the prospect of meeting this remarkable woman.

Let’s hi five.
And hug.

24 August 2012

These are a few of my favourite things…


I’m in Australia…and here are a few of the things which have made me smile:

1. News that my first day was the coldest in 4 years.
3. Masterchef omnibus.
2. Having a guy from my building walk with me on my first day to show me where the closest store was (since then I have realised there are stores much closer) because my apartment didn't have toilet paper...and I needed toilet paper.
4. The Ukrainian pensioner who walked with me in the rain telling me about St Kilda and what trams to catch to get to the city (where young people like me go).
5. Being surrounded by Aussie accents. All the time. It’s like a constant hilarious dream.
6. The fact that almost every time I drive somewhere (which is a fair amount) I’m against the traffic.
7. Having to give way to trams.
8. The food (blog on this will come).
9. Listening to newsreaders say NZ city names...“Waa-ka-tay-nay” (Whakatane)
10. Buying groceries at any of the numerous markets.
11. The ‘if we charge you the wrong price you get it free’ policy at Coles.
12. Being misunderstood all the time…I say ‘admin’, they hear ‘Edmond’
13. Ads…
On the telly - "like all good Aussie men, I like my toilet time"
On the radio – said by male: “down down…prices are down at Coles…including super tampons” 
14.
The radio. It’s actually amazing. I’m by myself a fair amount…yet I laugh out loud on a frequent basis. It’s awesome…they are truly funny and are brilliant at mocking kiwis…
“I was moving house and one of the guys was a Mar-ree (Maori) called Terry, but he said it like Tiri.
‘Hey Tiri, why don’t ya grab ya chilly bin and jandals and get working’”

15. Increasing the Paul Henry fan club...
Kath: "would you buy one of these $10 airfares?"
Paul: "no"
Kath: "why not?"
Paul: "because I'd be sitting next to people who buy flights for $10...and I want to sit next to nice people".